Today is Tuesday. Today, I have been writing for over a year of my son’s almost 6 years of incarceration. It’s been a long time. It’s been a difficult time. I took a long walk today and I started to ask myself why am I doing this?
I like to think many of us want to make a difference in this world, in the lives of others. I know I’ve wanted to. Sometimes that is not so easy to measure. Anyway, as I was walking, I thought about much of the stuff I am involved in. I asked myself another question, “Who are you doing these things for, yourself or others?”
Today, I realized I am tired. I am really tired. I’ve had the everything taken away and I can’t say that I truly miss it except for one thing. My treasure sits in a cage. My treasure has been tortured and abused and they have gotten away with it. My treasure will wear a label that is so far from the truth that it palpably hurts. We worked so hard and so long as a family to protect Matt from this injustice and we failed.
Do you know how hard it is to tell the same story over and over again and yet there are those who ask me two questions that just make me die just a little more.
1) Why did Matt take a plea?
2) Why should I support someone with his charges?
Here is the answer for both questions: Because we have a duplicitous lying unethical evil system that purports itself as having justice. Period.
Today, I wondered if anything I say or do makes any difference or am I just more noise in an already noisy world. Maybe it’s not about me. Maybe it’s just a crazy wish to think you can change anything for anyone for the better.
Today, I finally came to the conclusion that I have lost. I think I am just going to stop contributing to the noise out there because empty words are just noise.
Peace to all and sincere love…I hope you can and will make a difference. Thank you to all the beautiful people who have been supporting my son. You will always have my respect and love.